i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
