dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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