my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
