Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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