At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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