Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
time to smoke my breakfast
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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