I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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