so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
