ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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