I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
And my parents said I crawled through the house
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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