So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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