Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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