I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Randomize
