I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
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