I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
