at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
