I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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