Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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