I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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