I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
organizing the empties. That sober.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
