i barfeds in our rink
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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