Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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