Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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