Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Hippo gnu deer
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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