I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
