Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
