I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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