The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
