If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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