you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
