Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
