She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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