So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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