Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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