no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
