I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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