Just fell off a train. Bad.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
