she woke up with a sticky ear
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
