So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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