And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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