Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
