how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
