Hey man sorry I got all grabby
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
