he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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