Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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