a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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