Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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