I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
