We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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