Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
