I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
