we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
