So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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